So he doesn’t light my fire, and doesn’t feed my ego in the company of strangers. It might be great at first with some guy you don’t like that much otherwise. A guy you don’t like all that much anyway whom you don’t like to fuck much either anymore. Quiet your mind and wait for the answer to come to you. I hate myself even for admitting it; it’s just so superficial. Insight is a complex computation; it can take days on our little computers. Some things are painful and sad and wrong but nonetheless true. Every once in a while, I like to poll my readers on the Nerd Love Facebook Page and on Twitter to find out what issues they feel are holding them back when it comes to dating.And the most common answer is: “I worry that I’m too fat to date.”I’ll be honest: I’m not surprised. According to the Center for Disease Control, 69% of adults 20 years old and over are overweight and 35% are considered obese.In bed, he’s attentive, very strong, wonderful — we enjoy genuine chemistry — but even when the lights are out I find it difficult to navigate his flesh.I’m a smallish person stature-wise; it’s difficult for me to wind around a man with what little leg I’ve been given, never mind a man the size of one and a half men.As a non-single, fat, polyamorous woman, I can't tell you how often I've been questioned about my confidence, self-worth, who I am, and why I'm into what I'm into.If literally the only reason you are interested in me is because I'm fat, you might want to take a step back and get to know a bit about me first. When you tell me I'm not, what you are really saying is that despite my body size, I'm not all those horrible things you tend to associate with fatness.
And, just to be clear, the views of these men are not my views — or necessarily the views of Your Tango.That said, it's hard to be objective when someone is explaining why you don't give them an erection.With that in mind, I asked a group of anonymous men who refuse to date fat women to try and explain their feelings to me.I've always wanted to know what goes on inside the heads of men who refuse to date a woman just because she is fat.On the one hand, as a sex writer, I understand that people are attracted to different things, so I wanted to keep an open mind.